...even in my miserable state Christ paid for me!

...on the banks of the stormy Jordan...

2009-07-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

i really pick the worst times to update this.
because i have work in a few minutes, thus giving myself barely enough time to write, but it may be enough.

there's this show, i don't know if it's still on, or what channel, because i've been hulu-ing it. it's called Kings.
kind of like king's academy, but with a big twist.
it's a modern day parallel to the story of David.
i don't know how this tv channel got the green light on a biblical interpretation, but they did, and i am happy for that.
anyway, in the story, David starts to see signs, signs in his life that before he would disregard.
things are going bad for the kingdom, but as David chooses to follow the God-given signs, he does well for the kingdom.

it's difficult to separate what i think is His plan versus what is just "mine."
i know a lot of us at this age really can let this topic get the best of us.
it's vital to remember Who actually does the deciding here. because it then prepares us to be ready for anything.
our life isn't our own. we made a decision to be used by Him.
not just to be used in places we are comfortable with. and not always places we have dreamed we would go.

God can do anything.

i fully believe in signs and if they are truly from the One who created me, then i wholeheartedly want to follow them. without reluctancy.

"If we've lost our faith in You, are we all forgotten too?"

the answer is a resounding NO.

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful."

Pathetic

2009-04-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm slowly realizing each day how pathetic I am.
School is just one thing, but I'm not speaking scholastically.
As I dwell on my classes and how I can be effective in pointing others towards Christ, the Holy Spirit asked me a question,
"When you will have left this particular class, will anyone have known you were a Christian."

This question entails many questions.

Have I made Christ known simply through my own countenance? Like being interested in education, being excited about listening and learning to what my teacher is saying.
Do I act different about what others will most likely consider boring?
Do I participate in discussions and proclaim Jesus through the truth to be found about said discussion?
Again, can anyone tell I am a Christian? Can anyone tell I follow Jesus Christ?
Have I ever said anything relating to the Gospel?
Have I given any of my classmates hope in the midst of their hopeless lives?

If I realized what Christ has done for me, what eternal hell He has saved me from, then I would be excellent at answering these questions.

The fact isn't so much that I'm off the hook, because I can't comprehend what Christ has done, but more so, because my sinful flesh contains pride and fear that screams, "You are better than them, they don't deserve your time, just keep soaking in growing in godliness on your own accord."

It's pathetic.

I'm off to Sonic, but there are answers to hopelessness, and there is a Light that can always outshine the darkness.

"Don't close your eyes, don't pretend the job is done!"

2009-02-04T12:42:00.000-08:00

Keith Green is so good!

So i just took a very very very quick lunch break (about 5 minutes). In that time, good ol' Ravi Zacharias was speaking on some radio station (Probably Victory 91.5! ahh good ol' Adventures in Odyssey!).

Within those 5 minutes i have about double the amount of quotes i had than when i had sat down to eat my grilled cheese sandwich.

This was one of my favorites:

"God is like the Sun, you can't look at Him, but you can only look at other things with Him."

My mind is melting.

Ravi is such a gift to us all, thank You Lord!

Whoever you are reading this...feel blessed that there is a God, and He wants you to be with Him.

back to my paper...

No Polynesian sauce.

2008-09-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

You heard me correctly.

At KSU we have what they call a "Chic-fil-a Express." It's pretty much a rip-off.
They really need a dollar menu for college students, but that is besides the point. Anyways.
So I LOVE the Polynesian/Mayonnaise combo on their famous chicken sandwich. So extravagant.
Polynesian is basically THE actual sweet nectar of life. I mean, it looks like nectar, it tastes, and goes down like nectar.
I eat the stuff straight for crying out loud.
Bottom line is, that the "Express" place has been out of the stuff for the last two weeks. TOTALLY unacceptable.

For internet translations sake, I am not seriously mad, but I am seriously CRAVING the nectar!

Well there is a fun, little bite size update from life at the Student Center.

New Wertz album came out yesterday.
He's on a big label now, so he included some of his best old songs for all the newbies to hear. Good decision. I can wait even longer for new stuff. BUT BUT BUT, there are 4 new ones on the new album as well, and they are all splenda.

"Well I guess I'm just scared, I'm the only one here, who's growing old, but not quite growing up."

While things can always get worse, Jesus gives things infinitely better

2008-07-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

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"Faith is like radar that sees through the fog."
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Filet 'o Fish

2008-07-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

This last week has been very relaxing. I got a few opportunities to visit the old tri-house area (The Driver's, Gregory's, and the Padgett's old house). I love that place. It's right on a peaceful lake. We actually have land there to build a house, but we haven't done anything with it yet, so we'll probably end up selling it.

Too much info, anyway, the best part about all this was getting to fish. Fishing swims through my veins in many ways, and I can never get enough of it. Experiencing God's nature, experiencing the peace of God, and maybe even getting to experience food from God is a blessing. Yes, we did end up eating what we caught. I could go on and on about how fun it was for me and yadda yadda yadda, but I say all this to say that there is always something in your life that God has provided for you to experience His peace. I had forgotten what it was until recently.

Quick funny story, the first night, I managed to get two fishing lines stuck out on the lake. Both times of which I thought I had caught "The big one," to my utter shame from excitement, I was definitely wrong. So I just left the poles laying against the dock, and left the fishing lines somewhere out in the lake, stuck. It was actually fun to tug them every once in a while, pretending to catch a fish.

Here are three quick encouragements from my Proverbs portion this morning.

Ch.16

v.1

"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord."

The Lord gives us so many choices and opportunities to live our lives every day for Him. He wants to see us delighting in His blessings and Himself.

v.3-4

"Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble."

Perspectives of work really changes when you remember God is always watching you. Not only that He is watching you, but that you should want to commit all your effort to Him. Also, it was terrific to see a section where the Lord said He made everything for a purpose.

v.33 "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord."

I love this because again it states how not a thing happens without the Lord aware and in control of it. He is even aware of every fish that wandered by my fishing bait, but never bit the bait!

"When you get what you want, but not what you need."

2008-07-01T08:37:00.001-07:00

Forever Changed - "Knowledge"

Everybody’s talking, how the world’s changing.
Everybody’s wondering, “How far will we run?”
Can you see the train wreck?
People scattered on the ground searching for answer they’ve never found.
And all I have is answers
To yesterday’s questions.

You should’ve known...
You should’ve known...
You should’ve known
There’s more to life than “Live for Today.”

I can hear them whispering how they all feel lonely.
If they only knew where true love is found.
I can see them dying, falling on the floor.
Everybody’s waiting to run out the door.

You should’ve known...
You should’ve known...
You should’ve known
There’s more to life than “Live for Today.”

So slow down.
You just want to be loved.
I hear it all the time.
Everybody’s wondering how far will we run...

You should’ve known...
You should’ve known...
You should’ve known
There’s more to life than “Live for Today.”

Yesterday I was reminded that life is a lot shorter than I think.

Over a long period of time through a sickness or maybe in the blink of an eye through a car crash, we all are decaying and dying. For this reason, it's so vital and important to live life for the future, for eternity. Doing that takes on many different tasks, but my prayer is that those tasks reflect the Gospel, reflect what Jesus would do in my position. Or better yet, look to the Bible and see what He did in my position. I can't be thankful enough for the fact that I already have an example to look towards. Or else, getting lost would be an every-moment occurence. It's all because of Jesus that I'm alive. Man, I love that song.

Strawberry Swing...Set

2008-06-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

La la la la la la bum ba.

New Coldplay album came out.

I really do enjoy it. It's not X&Y as far as monumentous songs go. But it's super creative in parts, and definitely full of hearty lyrics. I wish certain things would be different, like many choruses I think sounded awesome, they only did it once and never repeated (Death and All His Friends). Little things like that where its like, ahgbtyuyesa;f;f;g;g why didn't you keep going!?

It's good though, check it out (the last song is on my player at the bottom of this page).

On a sidenote. My recovery is going really well! The first few days were super rough, but each day a gradual increase in strength and health has come to be. I'm very grateful for the downtime, I feel like I have grown and the Lord has strengthened me in ways that I needed to change in. Still a little swollen in the nose and I'm still trying to clear my nostrils so I can fully breathe and taste things! (I can a little, but not regular yet)

Has anyone been watching the Next Food Network Star? Or Nashville Star? I have, I like.

All I once held dear, I have counted loss

2008-06-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

Hey y'alls.

So this verse is my first fighter verse I've memorized since the conference (there are a few others but I'll focus on this one from Philippians).

For those of you who don't know (pretty much only the people that read this (if any) are the same ones who know) I'm getting my upper lip repaired tomorrow (Friday the 6th of June). Wow there were alot of parenthesis in that one. So it's been a real step of faith to trust in the Lord and the Lord through the doctors, my parents, and everybody else. I don't know what the final outcome will look like, yet I know whatever it will be, I'll still be the same person.

That's really an incredible part of the Lord's handiwork. The most important part of us (our souls) can't be touched by the world or even the devil. The surgery (as small as it is) won't be able to touch me in light of eternity. So that's easy enough to say right? right. BUT. I was reminded yesterday that what WILL touch me in light of eternity is how I use this time of waiting til the surgery - and the recovery afterwards.

I know I'm going to be in pain, sick, throwing up (sorry), sore, etc. But hopefully my eyes will still work and I will still be able to read and be refreshed by the Word of God. If anything, at the least I'll be able to think (they say 3 weeks minium 4 weeks max for a noticeable recovery, but we're praying for sooner).

So tying that all into the verse...I just realized now that I can translate that to my situation in a small way. This will be the second surgery of my life on my lip. The first one I was 4 months old, thus this is repair and reconstruction - NOT cosmetic. I couldn't imagine being the parents of their new 4 month old and having to deal with him being put to sleep. Thank You Lord for allowing me to wake up after that experience. Anyway (physically) the Lord began a good work in me by allowing me to only suffer minor problems with my cleft lip, in that, it could've been a lot worse. It could've been a cleft pallet too, which effects your actual facial construction (mine is just the skin). So the Lord was watching over me and protecting me the whole way through, He began that operation and is bringing it to completion tomorrow. I think that's a fair way to look at it.

Thanks for all your prayers, I'll see you all soon!

Some Progress

2008-05-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

Pulling your confidence through
Some courage is well overdue
I believe solely in all your promise
Why waste a second in doubt
You could be helping you out
Keeping your head in the clear

Like an instrument for a song
Like the sun for tomorrow’s dawn
Every moment of time’s just an answer to find
What you’re here for, what you breathe for
What you wake for, what you bleed for

Everyone’s counting on you
Save for yourself what to do
Life is a card that you lay down sometimes
To search for the best way of all
Is finding the best way to fall
Keeping your head in the clear

Every moment of time’s just an answer to find
What you’re here for, what you breathe for
What you wake for, what you bleed for
What you hope for, what you live for
What you’re here for, what you breathe for, what you live for
What you’re here for, what you bleed for, what you live for

"Rescue me from hanging on to this life"

2008-04-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends. Foes. and Fallible peeps!

It's a beautiful day today. It's 8:56 AM. And it's beautiful.

For me, the mornings can be so hard to embrace. Recently, I believe its due to the fact that I get cold in the morning (or it just gets colder outside) and then its hard to get outta bed because I'm so attached to the covers that I can't really move. Frozen.

Sometimes I wear my shirt (and sometimes even jackets!) that I'm going to wear the next day, to bed, so then I don't have to put anything on for the upcoming day. That seems to work sometimes.

Coming back to the point (the "Cold" point was just another reason to show why its hard to get up in the morning).

God has created the Earth and our time system to be bright out at this time and this place. It's the welcoming committee of our first impulses of the day. The morning has the potential to be the most exciting time in the day. For some of you it might actually be, and I have such great respect and reverence for you. For those like me, you love the morning, when you get up and are awake. But I want to get up more and more, and be awake quicker and quicker. I want to realize faster that God has given me another day. Another day is so undeserving. Another breath for that matter.

I'm very for application and instruction. I think its so important that we not only teach and remind, but then give realistic ways this looks in our lives. I believe thats something Aaron and Chad have done an excellent job with. Each message reminds me of the Gospel. Each message reminds me of the power I have in the Holy Spirit, in Jesus Christ, and in the Father. With Him I can block every last arrow Satan shoots at me. But not only has God enabled us to defend, but He has bestowed upon us the most lethal weapon: the Sword. It can cut like a hot knife through butter. Or a cold knife through a diamond. You do the math.

I'm going to get McDonald's now. Breakfast, mmm. Usually I'm opposed to eating breakfast from fast food places, but oh how I adore the sausage and egg burritos. Or the new McSkillet burrito! MMMM!!!

Pasta and legos.

(hasta luego - for Amanda)

"They got the lions, only in Kenya."

2008-03-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

Today is the day we (as a whole planet, or so I believe) have set for representing the day Jesus died for us. Good Friday.

Good Friday means, here comes Easter, glorious Easter. But Let's not look towards Easter without first really remembering today, what Jesus did- and everything He did leading up to- today.

I don't have time to go into detail (as Jim Britt did flawlessly on Sunday), but there are so many keypoints to remember about this day.

God crushed His own Son. He is the One who killed Jesus. Jesus offered Himself up as the perfect sacrifice (He led a perfect life here on earth), for God the Father to pour out every painful drop of His wrath.

Sure, Jesus was dealing with incredible earthly pain and suffering. He was fully human as well, therefore, He can completely relate to us - He can probably relate even closer to human than us just because of how close he was to death and that He knew it.

But really, the most dreadful suffering was from the Father's wrath. All of our sins had been bottled up into the cup of wrath that was fully blasted onto Jesus, "today", at Calvary.

That is the reason He sweat drops of blood. We all know Jesus loves us undoubtedly, and yes He knew He was dying for us during that time, but Who He was really thinking about and fearing, was His own Father.

We say (like how I said earlier), Jesus can relate to us....well, I wish somehow we could relate to Him- knowing what He really went through, but we have faith and trust instead of learning or seeing firsthand. I don't believe anyone could handle what He went through for God's glory and for us.

It was a drink only He could swallow. Out of all eternity, every person ever, no one would amount up, no one would offer himself, no one could even attempt to barely succeed.

Jesus was the only One who could perform this horrid journey. And He actually did it.

LINE LINE LINE LINE

At the cross we see Your mercy
Pouring forth in streams of blood
At the cross we see compassion
Flowing like a crimson flood
At the cross we see our Savior
And the beauty of His love
At the cross

At the cross we find forgiveness
Making foul sinners clean
At the cross we find Your power
Setting captive prisoners free
At the cross we find our Savior
Who secured our victory
At the cross

Graceless

2008-02-20T15:19:00.000-08:00

If none of my longtime blog friends have noticed yet, I've stopped with the both famous and infamous "yoyoyo." Sad I know, but somethings need to come to an end.

yoyoyo meant alot to me. and I know you as well. It was always there, omnipresent really, and never at a loss for 6 letters (don't go back and count, I already did for you).

To see my yoyoyo go is like watching a child go back into their mother's womb. Not really, but you get the picture. Ok, you probably don't get the picture on this one, neether/niither do I.

But in actuality. I'm not replacing it with anything. yoyoyo is now assumed (by those same longtime friends, and sub-conciously somehow by newcomers).

I don't know how to seperate this part with a line, like on xanga. So this will have to do:

LINE LINE LINE LINE

re-Surgence on Sunday was sobering. I don't think about living my life in reference to Christ nearly as much as I should. The theme was surrounded by genuine salvation, and how to be able to recognize genuine and Godly fruit in our daily lives.

The first question of the night, "Which road am I on?" is the one that really stood out to me. Here's why.

I know I am on the right road.
The straight and narrow.
I know that Jesus paid for all of my sins 2000 years ago, on a hill, on a wooden cross.
I know that 2000 years ago minus three days He rose from the grave, putting His death to death (therefore allowing the way to not just a neutral standing before God, but now a positive one).

I know these things, but the true point is that sometimes this road I'm on doesn't feel so straight and narrow.

Sometimes it feels crooked and wide. As in, sometimes I lack courage to evangelize, too often laziness takes over, and I let things pass by. I'm not working as hard as I should for Jesus. He surely worked hard for me (understatement).

When this happens, I don't feel like I'm in the category that can say, "I am dying to myself every day, Jesus, this life is so hard, and I'm doing my best for and to glorify You."

I believe that is what we want to say, and we do say because its so biblically correct. But I believe we deceives ourselves when we say this - if we aren't doing all the things He has commanded, and all the things He has done for us prior to our existence.

I know i was saying "we, we, we." Really I should just say "me, me, me." But I know we all struggle with these things.

All these thoughts of the road, instantly reminded me of Pilgrim's Progress. Today I started reading the book again (the first time I read it was in 3rd grade, and it was a simplified version, with REALLY cutesy pictures).

If you haven't read it (good example: Emily Hollis), than you should seriously consider it. It's an allegory following the life of a man appropriately named Christian. Not many remember his first name (my title) though.

For those who don't know (and this makes the story so much sweeter), this allegory was dreamed up by John Bunyan in the 1600s (i believe?) while he was in prison. So to read this and imagine yourself as Christian, going through places like the Slough of Despond or the hill of Difficulty, or meeting people like Mr. Worldly Wiseman or Evangelist, is really an amazing adventure. MUCHO RECOMMENDO-DODO. (pronounced "dough dough")

I think American Idol is on tonight. I really like hearing what Simon has to say. And I really don't know why people make fun of it, I love watching people sing, seeing if they CAN sing, and seeing how they are judged accordingly. I consider it a joy to watch. Especially ever since that one guy sang a Mute Math song! Good choice man, good choice.

with this, and with that, I'm retiring. Goodnight and morrow all.

Green Pastures

2008-02-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

To clear things up for anyone else who thinks I'm an emo who believes he is miserable and depraved (check my big headline)...

I am just that! (maybe not emo) But, I am a sinner. I am in a miserable state, and Christ came to save me, even in the midst of my miserable being.

I can't remember a time I've wanted to die for someone who didn't love and adore me.

But I can remember (yet, too often forget) that in my own sinfulness, He remade the history of all that is, through living a perfect life, dying a horrid death, and raising Himself from death itself, all in my stead.

I am so in debt to Christ, the debt was so great, only God, through the person of Jesus Christ, could lift that debt. Only He was powerful and pure enough to fix my evil nature for all eternity.

I believe this would be the best way to start off my blog, if you're going to listen to me rant and rave from time to time, I hope at least you could come away being more in love with the Savior.

I leave you now with some lyrics from Matt Wertz (I bet that was a true surprise!).

Yesterday morning every part of her just shut down
All that she knew, or thought she knew, flew out that door
Things she loved, so easily forgotten
And now Jamie cannot love no more, no more

She said, she said I'm so sick of this stumble, the stumble
I've been calling walk
She said I'm so tired of the mumble, this mumble
I've described as talk
Now I think this time, I lose myself
to the One who found me here

Freshness

2008-01-28T08:22:00.000-08:00

Just gettin' this thing-a-ma-jig started.

Posts to come.
Thoughts to arrive.
And Lovin' to spread.